Today I’m struggling being a homemaker


Can I admit something? I like being real with you. I enjoy sharing even the downer moments in life because we are human. Every day is not perfect and I never want it portrayed that it is. Today, I’m struggling with being a homemaker. And this is a test of faith!!!

Today’s mood has been transpiring over the course of a month or more. And today as I sleep in an extra hour because Punk had slept over at grandmas house, I have woken up kind of somber and deep in thought. I’m muttling (is that a real word? 😉 ) through my breakfast and the beginning of this post half wanting to be sad for myself and half knowing the right answer but not wanting to acknowledge it.
Somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I started to let go of all my homemaking and wifely duties. I felt like I needed a break from the constant day to day cleanings and making of things. Which, that break has lasted longer than I anticipated haha!! Punk needed a week of mommy time and then I needed a week of mommy time. And somehow I just haven’t gotten back into the swing of things.

Just about that very same time, my sweet husband decided he needed a “time out” from life and hasn’t been able to get himself back into routine with the family either. We have eaten cereal for dinner more times than I can count recently because he is just not in the mood for anything on the dinner menu. Many say I should just cook and he’ll either eat it or be hungry. But I personally just can’t waste all that energy when he isn’t going to benefit from it. As I’m writing this it dawns on me, at least Punk and I would benefit from it. Nonetheless, I can’t go back! Haha! I’ll have to keep that in mind for future. I even slaved over making trays peanut butter cookies with Hershey’s kisses on top. And do you think he has touched them the whole week they’ve been sitting there…nope! None of this is relationship related by the way. It’s all the stressful markings of every day life. But it weighs you down!!!
When one doesn’t feel appreciated or valued or feels taken for granted, the WANTING to do something, disappears. At four years old my daughter has to be taught to appreciate things in life. It’s our job as parents to teach this life lesson. For example, every night at dinner we sit down as a family and daddy makes sure to thank me for the wonderful meal which then prompts Punk to thank me also. (This makes me giggle when they say “Thank you for buying my favorite cereal”) In front of her and in private I make sure to thank daddy for going to work every day, providing the things that we need and allowing me to stay home. We are a grateful family and we want our daughter to grateful for all that she has in life. But there are times when we forget to express how much we appreciate one another.



And that lack of has worn me down. Especially with my 4 year old day in and day out. This thought just came to mind, “it’s a tough job but somebody’s got to do it.” The endless laundry piles and dirty dishes. The countless meals and baths given. The constant picking up after someone else and it’s not just the little one mind you!           It. Gets. Tiresome. And you know what, this is where that ” I know the right answer but just don’t want to acknowledge it” comes into play.
We are called to serve! Each and every one of us! We are called to serve our Heavenly Father. And by serving our families in the mundane day to days…we are ultimately serving God! I want to have a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself because well…I just do! I’m human!

But when I stop and think about all that I am doing, this rush of gratitude lifts me up! I am excelling at the job God has given me. “Given me” doesn’t even cut it. I am excelling at the job God has BLESSED me with! This is my test of faith. I can choose to feel sorry for myself and all the responsibilities I have. Or I can be thankful for them!

I choose to be thankful! With that being said, I am going to get off the couch and have myself a productive day! I hope you will join me in thanking God for even the smallest of things! He doesn’t have to give us anything, but he chooses to because he loves us!
Xoxo,

Toni

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